Staying Sane While Wall Street Crashes

… is riding the Wall Street Roller coaster. Even if youare not … the … scream out one word: … hard not to join in the … The Panic Crowd seems tobe having all

Everybody is riding the Wall Street Roller coaster. Even if youare not invested, the headlines scream out one word: PANIC!It’s hard not to join in the panicking. The Panic Crowd seems tobe having all the fun these days. But they don’t have all thehappiness. You see, it’s true what your mother told you: moneydoesn’t buy happiness, at least not for most people. But thelack of money does buy pure misery.Did you ever wonder why so many office towers have fusion-sealed,micron-proof windows to keep office workers safe from anysemblance of fresh air? It has to do with the stock market.During The Great Depression, just too many brokers were jumpingout of windows. This enraged a nation of vengeful investors, whodemanded to kill their brokers personally. So henceforth allwindows were sealed.(The good news is that by the time the windows were sealed, TheGreat Depression had ended, so there have been very few reportedcases of enraged investors killing their brokers. However, therehave been several incidents of “office air suffocation syndrome”– but that’s another issue for another column.)Oh no! Not another Top Ten list!Here are The Happy Guy’s Top Ten Tips for Staying Sane While WallStreet Crashes Around You:1. Don’t panic. Enough people are doing that already; you’reneeded elsewhere.2. Don’t join the Panic Crowd. They are NOT having more fun,they just act that way to attract new members fold. Misery lovescompany.3. Take inventory. Do you have the basic necessities? If so,you are OK. When they come to take away your television remotecontrol, then panic.4. Smile at your neighbor. A smile lifts everybody’s spirits,but most of all your own.5. Remember the Great Depression. It sucked, but peoplesurvived. It’s amazing how many non-essentials we take forgranted. Rent a movie about the 1930s, sit back, and laugh abouthow much better our depression is going to be.6. Learn a new skill. In hard times, it pays to be very, veryemployable. And you may even be lucky enough to have two jobs.Oh, wait. That’s our problem now.7. Start saving now. Then when the bottom falls out, at leastyou’ll have something to live on for three-and-a-half weeks.8. Start spending now. It’s folks like you, saving all yourmoney instead of spending it, that are killing the economy.9. Stop listening to people telling you to save or to spend. Infact, stop listening to news about the markets. It’s just toodepressing.10. Ignore top ten lists. They are way too gimmicky and seldomgive any truly useful information (except for this one, ofcourse!)There you have it. The Happy Guy’s Top Ten Tips for Staying SaneWhile Wall Street Crashes Around You. All the advice your motherdidn’t tell you about financial markets, and more importantly,about keeping happy while others suffer. The bottom line isdon’t panic, don’t invest all your emotions where your money isinvested, and focus on what really matters.

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